sorry for neglected you so long....
is not my fault....is the connection's fault.... #*&#@^&%!@!^*
(okok....not only the connection's fault...I should also bear some responsibility.....I admit that I start to be lazy...everyone knows that...XD I'm always the lazy one....)
Erm....the lazy one...means me...is now undergoing a very suffering week...."Study Week"....
Normally...study week is a torturing week....everyone knows about that....where you need to "work like a dog"...to prepare for your exam....every minute..every second also can't let go....it may be the critical moment for you to get pass or A in exam....
But....this "well- known" situation...seems does not approach to me...WHY..???...Well.....I didn't "work like a dog"..."eating or chewing books"...but I still feel suffer...suffer because of nothing to do....(I'm not being ego here...)is truth....Apart from watching drama or movies till midnight.....4-5am....sleep till the next "afternoon"....12-2pm...I got nothing to do.... seems like a cycle.....I've gone through these few days like this....again and again...nothing special....Everyday seem meaningless....live like a zombie..or you can say vampire..XD
Sometimes....really have to admit that I'm a coward..timid to face failure...I set my mind to get something...but I always can't go at full steam to get it...then I will just let it go easily...or...lower my expectation.. so that I won't be too disappointed with what I can't get....OR....more accurate....I always set a target where I need not to use my full strength to archieve it....A target that are not challenging at all....Because..I'm afraid that when I'm work in too much but can't get what I want...I will feel extremely disappointed....where I hope this won't happen to me.....So...is it good to be like now???....low expectation= low disappointment?? wondering....
I need some push....Push that can really make me start to work....hate to be free..when everyone is working hard to get what they want....hate to be so unperseverance in doing everything....haiz....maybe when come to the exam days...only I will start to feel stress....or may not....Can I blame it as being too optimistic..until I always think that it won't be too bad to get low marks...too bad to repeat...?? What is the big deal?? (being over optimistic again...>.<)
Well...got to start working tomorrow.....(hope that I can really do that... as what I have said here...>.<) Friday will be the start of my exam week..and the first subject will be Management Principle...the subject that let me down with a low coursework mark....T.T...KILL YOU SOON.....LET US SEE WHO WILL SMILE TILL THE LAST...hehehe....all the best to my beloved friends..^^
~start to work on it......."soon"...>.<~
No comments:
Post a Comment